Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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