a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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