Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize