She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize