I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize