There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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