Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize