I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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