what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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