im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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