i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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