she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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