So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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