If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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