sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
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DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
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I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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