Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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