anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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