Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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