The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize