I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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