I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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