so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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