I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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