My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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