Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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