I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize