Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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