I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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