matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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