he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
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Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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