oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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