next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
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We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
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Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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