Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
In America we eat man semen.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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