It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize