We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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