three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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