K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How does one acquire holy water?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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