I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize