It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize