I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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