just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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