I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize