Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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