just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
being pregnant is like rehab
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize