I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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