people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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