all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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