Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I AM VODKA MAN
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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