So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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