If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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